I start talking to this guy online. Lots of close-cropped photos. Talks about how much he enjoys the outdoors, and travel and such. Email to phone to making plans to meet for dinner.
I get to dinner and clearly can tell that this person wasn't exactly honest about pretty basic empirical things - height for instance....profile says 5'10".......he was 5'2" at the max. Okay - I can look past that except for the fact that he lied.
Seems to be going okay...one person seems introverted (what are your interests? oh...computer programming, computer games, reading and writing about political and economics, online debating)....other person an extrovert (what are your interests? camping...hiking...trail running...backpacking....travel....). I could have sworn introvert claimed to like the outdoors and travel and such.
The conversation ended up being one-sided. When I said something witty, he would crack up laughing - not just a chuckle, but an all out, grab his mouth, face turn red, snorting-laughing fiesta. It's kind of hard to have a normal adult conversation when the other person interrupts you with an overly exaggerated fit of laughter.
He asked me how long I'd been single. I tell him a couple of months. He starts stroking the condensation on his glass of water in tiny circles while staring at me and not breaking eye contact. He tells me he's been online for several months and had met some cool people - then proceeds to tell me about 3 psychos he met ....but didn't see them as psychos (though one was a 17 year old pregnant girl who said she was turning 18 soon who was pregnant by her 38 year old ex boyfriend to whom she lied and said she was 21and she was looking for a sincere and good man, etc.) so I, in my cynicism, laughed....and then he says he was at the birth of her child, and thought it was cool. Laughter ended.
Proceeds to tell me he still talks to her on the phone. Post the birth of her child, she and her boyfriend call him up and ask him how long after she had her baby can she have sex, how long after having her baby can she have oral sex....how long after having a baby until she can use sex toys....but all of that was normal...including the fact that her boyfriend was there. But no...that wasn't enough....then while she and her mom were arguing, she dropped her baby, and he was quick to tell me - but it was okay because it hit the couch first (not okay).....but that was normal for him, too......then she tried to runaway again, but had to come back....so then she wanted to egg on her mom to hit her so she could call Dept of Fam/Children Svcs, but that didn't work...so she slugged her mom, and then her mom had her committed into a psychiatric ward and the baby was awarded to the mother...but that was okay.........WOW.....NO.
Then there was this other girl (as he's telling me this completely nonchalant) who tried to kill herself.
Then he thought it was funny to kick his ex girlfriend's 15 years old cat into the pool one night and watch it try to struggle to get out.
Then he informs me about the "fun" he and his ex girlfriend had posting her size 28 self on adultfriendfinder and another website just to "see" what would happen....I'm beginning to see a trend here that this person doesn't know how to live OFF the internet and uses the internet as a social shield.
Then....he started talking about his "democracy now" group and his "online debating." He was similar in comparison to the news people online that get in all of these "experts" when something happens. The experts are attempting to explain something objectively, but the news person jumps in, twists the words around, and doesn't let the other person speak.
I voiced my political and economic opinions and was interrupted and talked over and informed "no...no....NO...that's not how it is." When he attempted to force his political and economic opinions (fun date, right?) and I wasn't listening, he would lean in, stare at me, and start making monotone statements about the importance of eye contact to show someone you're interested in what they're saying.
At least ESPN was over his shoulder, and my Ducks were playing. The bartender actually laughed several times. The night ended with that awkward - okay...well...good night.....drive carefully. By the time I got home, I had an e-mail telling me what a great time he had, how "very attractive" I am....(insert random compliments here) and wanted to know when we could go out again........
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