You give your all. They give a corner.

You give your whole, they give their corner.

I was writing to a friend yesterday who is drawn like a moth to a flame to bad relationships. Some of you find this ironic that I can discuss such things; however, I know I have bad luck, and I know it comes down to people not being themselves. This person is drawn to people she knows are bad from the get go. There’s no hiding their downfalls (unfaithful, lies, etc.).

Here is what you do – you look at your flaws, and you look at your positives. You come to the realization that everyone has flaws – no human is perfect, but you don’t dwell on them. You just remember that you know what they are. You find someone who complements your flaws and your positives. You find someone that when you say, “me, too!” you mean it. You find someone that when one of your flaws surface, he loves you because he loves all of you, not just your positives, and you realize this. You love someone for who they are, not what they appear to be. You love all of someone – their past, present, and their future – not just what you take at face value or what you “plan” it to become. On the other hand, you realize your past and their past is in…the past. Don’t judge someone based on experiences in the past. This is one of the most difficult things to do. You have to remember, this is a completely different person. They are not the same as past experiences. Don’t doom new relationships from the get go. Learn to let down your guard even a little bit. No one wants someone who is 100% hard core tough person all the time. When he asks, “what’s wrong?” or “is something bothering you?” tell him. Swallow your pride and talk. Don’t ever answer that with “nothing” if something is bothering you. If something isn’t bothering you, don’t answer that with “nothing.” Elaborate, “Oh nothing – why do you ask?” or “Oh nothing – I was just thinking about x, y, and z that happened today.” Chances are, that person is going to say, “Oh – tell me about it.” You get annoyed just as much when you get the “nothing” reply when something clearly is wrong. Don’t expect someone else is going to be okay with it. Never go to sleep angry. Talk it out….in a mature manner. Never speak out in anger. Once a word is spoken, it’s there. It’s never going away no matter how much you say, “I’m sorry.” He’s still going to remember it just as you would. Never second guess yourself, and never doubt yourself. Never let someone walk all over you. Talk. The main thing is “talk.” If you’re not happy about something, tell him, and tell him to be the same way. The main thing is “be yourself.” How are you ever going to find happiness if you’re fooling yourselves from the get-go?